Relational IT: Show up like a human

In the world of business, the phrase “It’s not personal. It’s business” is often thrown around. But let’s be honest—this is utter nonsense. When someone says it’s just business, it usually means one thing: they’re dodging responsibility for the hard stuff. This mindset allows individuals to detach from the emotional and ethical implications of their decisions, often leading to a lack of accountability and empathy in the workplace. By hiding behind this phrase, leaders can avoid the discomfort of difficult conversations and the responsibility of addressing the human impact of their actions.

In his book, Leaders Worth Following, Tim Spiker emphasizes that effective leadership is more about who leaders are than what they do. Spiker introduces the “Who* Not What Principle,” which asserts that the core of great leadership lies in the character and personal development of the leader, rather than their specific actions or strategies. He argues that 77% of leadership effectiveness is driven by who the leader is, highlighting the importance of authenticity, integrity, and emotional intelligence. This perspective challenges the conventional focus on skills and tactics, urging leaders to prioritize their personal growth and relational qualities to truly inspire and lead their teams.

Here are three non-negotiables as it relates to showing up as a human at work:

1. Be Personal
Acknowledge the people behind the work. Share the highs and the lows. If something’s hard, say it. If you’re excited, show it. People respect leaders who are real, not robots without emotions.

2. Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability doesn’t weaken trust; it strengthens it. When you start a tough meeting by saying, “You know, I’m nervous to have this conversation…,” it changes everything. It invites grace, honesty, and mutual respect into the room.

3. Be Present
Nothing destroys connection faster than feeling ignored. When you’re in a conversation, be all in it. Look people in the eye, close the laptop, and silence the distractions. Show them they matter.

Being a leader isn’t about showing up perfectly—it’s about showing up humanly. More than ever, if you want to build a team that trusts you, you have to become someone worth trusting.

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